


Memories

by Semi_problematic



Category: Eyewitness (US TV)
Genre: Breakup, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-20
Updated: 2017-03-20
Packaged: 2018-10-08 12:27:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10386654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Semi_problematic/pseuds/Semi_problematic
Summary: The breakup fic no one asked for.





	

"I'm sorry.." Lukas voice breaks through the thick silence in the room.

He met a boy at a photo shoot. Funny. He met a boy he now loves at a photo shoot Philip was supposed to do for him but he was sick that day. 

"You like Eric?"

"I'm sorry."

Philip kept his eyes trained on the ground, trying his hardest to hold back any feelings he had. If he opened his mouth he'd yell. If he looked up he'd cry. 

"I didn't mean to Philip. We only exchanged numbers to keep in contact.." 

"Why? You have me."

"You were sick."

"For one day, Lukas, six fucking months ago."

Lukas looked like he'd been punched and that made Philip want to scream. Lukas wasn't the one being cheated on. Lukas wasn't the one being dumped. So why the hell was Lukas playing the victim? 

"How long?" Philip asked, his voice getting louder. Or was it just the silence of the apartment?

"Four months."

"So you've been cheating on me this entire time with a boy who replaced me one day for a photo shoot."

"Philip-"

"Is this why you forgot our four year anniversary?"

Lukas looked down, rubbing the back of his neck. "I said I'm sorry." He looked back up. "What more do you want?"

Philip knew that tone of voice, it was the one Lukas used when he was getting mad. It scared Philip but he'd never tell Lukas that. It would've broken him.. well, four months ago it would've broken him.

"Philip.. I'm.. gonna go pack my bags."

"Why now?"

"What?"

"Why did you tell me now? Tonight. Why right now?"

"Because Eric.. he wanted to go further."

"So you can break up with your boyfriend of four years for him but you couldn't break up with Rose when I wanted more?" 

Lukas sighed. "I was a teenager."

"That doesn't mean shit!" 

"Yeah! It does! I'm sorry I was fucking scared!" Lukas stood up, walking towards Philip, quickly. "And I'm not scared anymore! And I'm sorry about that, too! I'm sorry I'm such a shitty fucking boyfriend!" 

"Don't do that! Don't act like this is my fault! You're the one who's been cheating on me for months!" Philip yelled back, taking a few steps away from Lukas. "You're a fucking horrible boyfriend! I could tell! I could tell because you stopped coming to bed with me and you stopped celebrating anniversaries with me and you stopped coming home on time and you'd get texts late at night and you stopped holding me and you just.." his voice had lowered by now, his sadness taking over, tears ran down his cheeks. "You just.. stopped." 

Lukas looked anywhere but Philip. "I'm going to go pack." And with that he turned around and walked out of the living room. 

Philip slid down the wall, pulling his knees to his chest, sobbing.

What did he do wrong?

~ 

The question was still swimming around his mind 20 minutes later. The apartment was still silent minus the quiet rustling coming from their bedroom.

Philip felt dizzy. And sick. His whole world was collapsing all because he missed a photo shoot with Lukas. Somehow, within that 7 hour time gap, Lukas fell out of love with him and in love with Eric. All because he was sick. He hated himself for it. He should've sucked it up. 

He pushed himself up from the floor, walking out of the living room, into and small hall and into the bathroom, shutting the doot and locking it. He splashed water on his face, wiped his eyes and gave himself a pep talk. 

Philip left the bathroom and continued his way down the hall until he was met with th bedroom door cracked open. He pushed it open, stepping inside. 

Lukas was sitting cross legged in front of their closet. He'd already packed three of his duffle bags and one small box. 

Philip was disgusted with himself. Even after everything Lukas had put him through, even after cheating on him and leaving him, Philip thought he was beautiful. His hair was falling in front of his face, brushing across his forehead every time he pulled another thing out of the closet.

Philip bit his lip, walking over to Lukas, and sitting down. He reached into the closet, pulling out a box, folding it. "Give me the tape."

Lukas glanced at him. "Philip-"

"Give me the tape, Lukas."

"You don't have t-"

"If this is the last thing we do together I want it to be happy, now hand me the tape." Philip held his hand out.

Lukas forced a smile and for the first time in months Philip could tell he was trying. 

~ 

It didn't end up being happy and it was Philips fault, just like everything else. Like him being sick. Like Lukas cheating. Like Lukas leaving. 

He didn't mean to say it. He didn't mean to make it awkward as if it wasn't bad enough already, but it slipped.

"So did he take better pictures than me?" Philip asked, the tease in his voice fading away.

Lukas tensed, rubbing his arm, forcing a smile. "No, no one takes better pictures than you."

Philip looked down, taking a deep breath. "You don't have to li-"

"I'm serious, Philip." Lukas smiled and it was small but it was genuine and Philip loved it. Philip loved Lukas.

Philip hated the heat on his cheeks. He shouldn't be blushing. This shouldn't mean anything. 

Lukas kept his eyes on Philip, the smile falling from his face. "I.. really did love you.. you know.." 

Philip taped up a box, nodding. "Yeah."

"I didn't mean to fall in love with him."

Not only was he cheating but he was in love with Eric. Great. 

Philip clenched his jaw. "We don't have to talk about it."

"We do."

"We don't." Philip faced Lukas. "Because you know what? Eric probably already hates me so I doubt he'll want you seeing me. You know I'm upset and will be for a while and you won't want to deal with it.. to deal with me. And you'll move back to Tivoli because I was too stubborn to and he'll film your practices and you'll.. you'll take him swimming because I was too much of a baby to do that and-" 

Philip was cut off when Lukas kissed him. It wasn't much of a kiss. More of a peck. And it wasn't anything. It was just to make Philip shut up. And it worked. Just another reason to be mad at himself.

"Philip, he isn't you. He won't take pictures like you. He won't sit in the barn like you. He won't make me watch cheesy Disney movies like you." He mumbled, cupping Philips cheeks.

Philip sniffled, laughing. That was supposed to make him feel better. It was supposed to be special. But it just made him feel sick. "I guess that's a good thing then, huh?" 

Lukas frowned, wrapping his arms around Philip, pulling him into a hug. "You know I'm not good with words."

Philip buried his face in Lukas' neck, sniffling. "Yeah, guess that hasn't changed."

Lukas kissed his hair. "I never wanted to hurt you."

"You should've ended it then."

"But you would've cried."

"What am I doing now?"

Lukas scoffed. "You're right.. like always.."

Philip ran his fingers through Lukas' hair. "I hope he treats you good."

"He treats me amazing." Lukas couldn't keep the smile off his face. The smile he used to have while talking about Philip. Now that he thinks about it, Philip hadn't seen that smile for a while now.

Philip nodded, letting a few more tears fall. "I gotta go."

Lukas shook his head, holding him tighter. "Don't go."

"You've already left. You've been gone for months.." Philip laughed, dryly, pulling away.

Lukas pulled him into another kiss, laying him back on the floor, pushing away a few boxes.

Philip kissed back for a few seconds, hitting his chest. "Stop." 

Lukas pulled away, panting, his nose brushing across Philips. "What?"

"This isn't what I want."

"But you-"

"You're cheating on him." Philip replied, wiping his eyes. "He doesn't deserve that."

"Philip-"

"I'll go get your coat."

"You didn't deserve it." 

"I should've known you weren't happy." Philip replied, sliding out from under Lukas.

Lukas grabbed his wrist, pulling him into another kiss. "Philip, I'm sorry." He pecked his lips. "Just don't hate me."

Philip pulled away, walking towards the door. "I couldn't ever hate you, Lukas.." he rubbed the back of his neck. 

"Then why won't you kiss me?"

Philip laughed and this time it was real. "Because you're cheating on Eric!  Because it's out of pity!" He shook his head, leaning against the door of the bedroom, his laughter slowly turning into sobs. "Because you don't want me.." 

Lukas slammed his hands on the floor causing Philip to flinch. "Whatever." 

Philip bit his lip, wiping his eyes. "I'll.. get you your coat.." 

~ 

An hour later the bedroom was littered with boxes and bags. Lukas hadn't really planned on having a truck to come get his stuff so he was calling his dad. Once he had hung up Philip broke the silence, which wasn't surprising considering he's been breaking everything.

"What does he have?"

Lukas looked up at Philip, looking as sad as earlier. Why was he so upset? He chose this! 

"What, Philip?" He asked, looking back down at the glowing phone in his hands.

"What does he have that I don't?" Philip asked, closing his eyes. "Is he happier? Or maybe he's more athletic? Or may-"

"I don't know."

"You kind of have to know why you love someone if you love them, Lukas."

"Really?"

Philip nodded.

"I still don't know.. I guess.. he just makes me feel calm.. and he grew up in the country too.. and he.. he's just amazing Philip."

Philip curled up against the wall, focusing on taking deep breaths. He didn't know why he kept torturing himself with this. Why did he ask if he knew he'd hate the answer?

"I felt that for you, you know? I loved you and stuff."

Philip scoffed, looking down at his hands. "Loved."

"I still care about you."

"Whatever."

"I don't regret it."

Philip nodded. "Obviously, you regretted this last four months."

"That's different."

"I lied to myself."

"What?"

"About this. I already told you I knew, there were so many damn signs, but I lied to myself, convinced myself that you were proposing and just really shitty at keeping secrets, always have-"

"You thought I was proposing?"

"Part of me did."

"God, Philip, how come you haven't hit me?"

"Why would I?"

"I treated you like shit."

"It's fine."

"Its not." 

"Well, if you knew it wasn't fine, then why did you do it?"

Lukas opened his mouth to reply but Philip cut him off.

"I'm going to bed." Philip stood up, walking into the bedroom, shutting the door

Lukas pretended he didn't hear the crashing in the other room. He pretended he didn't hear the glass shattering and the screams. He was able to pretend for four months, he could do it for a few more hours. 

~ 

It was 11 when Lukas' dad got there to pick him up and Philip had been asleep for about 45 minutes. 

Lukas was pissed at himself for going in and waking Philip up, but it just didn't feel right to leave right away. 

He kneeled down next to the bed, rubbing Philips side. "Philip, my dad's here.." he kissed his cheek.

Philip rolled over, pressing into Lukas' touch. "Can you do it one more time?"

"What?"

"You know.." Philip gave Lukas a small smile and Lukas felt his heart beat faster.

No.

"It won't hurt?" Lukas rubbed his arm, frowning.

Philip shook his head. "No, it won't.." 

Lukas nodded, smiling a little, leaning down, kissing his forehead. "Goodnight, Philip, sleep good, be safe, I love you." 

Philip hummed, pushing up into Lukas touch. It was obvious he was only half asleep. "Goodnight, Lukas.." he closed his eyes, burying his face in his pillow, letting out a sigh. 

Lukas stood up, holding onto the strap of his backpack, walking towards the bedroom door. "Goodnight, Philip."


End file.
